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Sorry for lack of updating. Random post to come later. Life isn't any better. Still depressed, still contemplating checking out of this life. More to come...

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My life is pointless. I don't care if I live or die. I'm a failure, a bum. I'm gonna pack my bags and drive till I can't drive anymore. There I will start a new life or die. Never return to this hell....

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undertakerchick: (garfield)
I know I have lacked in my posting. Truth is, I really haven't had time to update. I've been busy with school and life.

Nothing new much going on. Did change my meds so now I feel a whole lot better. I'm having a really down day right now. I feel like I'm dissociating. I feel like I'm in another world right now. I don't know if it is because I have had so much caffeine today with my med or if it is just the meds. I don't feel well at all. I'm just depressed. Guess we all have days like that.

I'm ready for a nap. I am sleeping in tomorrow morning since I don't have to be here till 11am. Thank God. I need a break. I've been getting up at 6am and going to the gym then coming to class. I have class til 12 and then I have to sit around until 4pm for my late class which lasts until almost 7pm. Makes for such a long day. Ugh.....

Have to go to a class now so I'll update later.
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I feel miserable and need chocolate!! I meant to buy some and forgot. Maybe tomorrow when I go to get my car, I can pick up some. I'm in a crisis and have no chocolate!!

This sickness is kicking my butt. Unfortunately, the cough syrup with codeine isn't knocking me out either. I put Vicks on my feet but I'm not sure it's helping. My feet feel funny. Lol

Fuel pump went out in my car, going to cost $400 to fix. Ugh. There goes my financial aid money. Hopefully it will take care of the problem though. Tired of dealing with it. Second time this has happened.

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undertakerchick: (garfield)
Pick 5 TV shows you like without reading the questions:

1. Grey's Anatomy

2. Judging Amy

3. 7th Heaven

4. Malibu Country

5. Golden Girls

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?
Vincent because he is the black sheep of the family

2. Who is your least favorite character in 1?
Um...Owen. He's just an ass

3. What’s your favorite episode of 4?
So far, the first one! HAHA

4. What is your favorite season of 5?
Probably the 2nd Season is my all time favorite although I love all of them!

5. What’s your favorite relationship in 3?
Lucy and Kevin...

6. How long have you watched 1?
Since the very first episode. <--ditto

7. How did you become interested in 3?
I don't honestly remember. I think the other girls at school were talking about it and I decided to watch. Fell in love and the rest is history!

8. Who is your favorite actor in 4?
Reba of course. She's hysterical

9. Which show do you prefer 1, 2, or 5?
Golden Girls definitely. Go to sleep with them and wake up with them. LOL

10. Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?
7th Heaven...because it went for 11 seasons. I think I've seen every one. lol

11. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?
The Grandma...she's fiesty

12. How would you kill off your least favorite character in 5?
Well Stanley is my least favorite. I'd let Sophia hire a hit man to kill him. haha

13. Would a 3/4 crossover work?
That would be interesting. 7th Heaven in Malibu with Reba...I don't think it would work.

14. Give a random quote from 2.
I don't really know any random quotes.

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.
Alex and Meredith.

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?
Oh....both are great casts but I still have to say the Golden Girls

17. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?
Malibu Country
undertakerchick: (Default)

Went to meet my counselor today. Went ok. Set up treatment plan. I'm a nervous wreck! I need to get thru one more day and then I can relax on Friday. I'm exhausted!

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I'm an absolute disaster and wednesday can't come fast enough. I need help big time.
I have a counseling session on Wednesday.

My heart is broken and I have no where to run, no where to hide. I've called out to God and he is silent. I pray He has help on the way because I am about to lose my mind.

I have two tests this week. One in nursing and one in nutrition which I have to bring up. I have to pass it or I can't go on. It scares me b/c I can't focus and I can't go into my room like I do in Jills class.

I talked to Peanut and she told me to keep trying. She said I was doing well and had really improved. She felt like I was on the right Path.

She asked me of I wanted to drop. I told her not yet. I had to stay the semester and I would reevaluate my life and expectations.

It's just so hard for me to enjoy nursing. I hate it. It doesn't appeal to me. I don't want to be a nurse, work as a nurse for the next 50 years and be miserable.

I thought God had more for me but I'm guessing I heard wrong. I feel like there is so much more out there for me but I'm having to settle for 2nd best.

Maybe I missed the mark and just made up this big dream thinking it was Gods will when it was just the voices in my head.

I think my parents are fighting b/c of me. I think I need to move out but I don't have the means to live on my own.

Apparently they have been talking b/c two diff people told me I needed to move out and grow up. They said I was an issue in my house. No surprise there. I've been an issue since the day I was born. I wish they would've just beat me to death when they were threatening.

I hate myself and I hate my life. I have no will to live. I have no reason to live and that is a scary place to be. I think counseling might help but I don't know. Found out today my counselor is younger than me. She is 25. That's tough for me. I feel so ashamed and so pathetic. Maybe I am just a loser.

I just needed to talk things out. My mind is going 10000 mph. So many thoughts...

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I'm pathetic. It's only 9:30pm and I have the lights out and am laying on the couch ready for bed. I must be getting old. Tomorrow morning I have to sit with grandma for a lil bit. Have to be at work at 2pm to cover for Mitch. Lovely. Oh well, I need the money. Hope he asked someone to come in with me or maybe Paul will come sit with me. Of course if it's slow that could be dangerous. I so just want to kiss him! Lol! I hope that he soon makes a move or I'm going too! I can't stand the suspense!!! Lol.

Anyway, nothing new going on. I have a dr appt this week with the shrink. Hoping to talk her into taking me off the meds that I've actually been off for awhile. Lol. She just doesn't know it and would be pissed if she knew since I've had refills. I'm just stocking up in case I ever need to go back on them. Shit happens so it's always good to be prepared.

Other than that, nothing is happening. Just hanging out waiting for snow!! Lol

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For today's picture, go to my twitter and look at my pic on there! Lol. That is a pic of the box of chocolates Paul gave me for valentines day. I'm not big on this stuff but he wanted to give me something. He liked his cologne. I hope he liked his card. He was afraid to open his card at the store. Lol. I don't blame him after the way the guys gave him a hard time. Dumbasses. Just because they aren't romantic doesn't mean we can't be!!

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Pic to come shortly. Lol

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I seriously need to get a life...ugh.

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You are Amelia Earhart!
Adventurous and boundary breaking. You believe that you can do anything, and do not hesitate to take risks to achieve a big goal. You like to problem solve, when a problem comes up.

Jennifer [noun] --
A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins

You are Crazy Cat-Woman Barbie!
You are obsessed with your cats and do little else with your life. You try to maintain a sane appearance, but you throw your cats at too many strangers to maintain your guise.QuizGalaxy.com

Can you tell that I am just in a random quiz mood? LOL Thought I'd just throw that out there. I'm actually contemplating a real journal update and will probably post that tomorrow. I just don't feel like it tonight. I R Tired. LOL
undertakerchick: (Default)
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In August I punched [livejournal.com profile] pixie_queen24 in the arm (-10 points). Last Tuesday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, [livejournal.com profile] puck_the_elf (-5000 points). Last Wednesday I bought porn for [livejournal.com profile] forever_rebel2 (-10 points). In July I helped [livejournal.com profile] mmonroebpd across the street (6 points). In January I gave [livejournal.com profile] xoxo_cream_xoxo a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-4964 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
undertakerchick: (Default)
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to (Band Name)".

Pick Your Artist:
Vince Gill

Are you a male or female:
Liza Jane

Describe yourself:
Out of My Mind

How do you feel:
Never Knew Lonely

Describe where you currently live:
Green Pastures

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
South side of Dixie

Your best friend is:
Pretty Lil Adriana

You and your best friends are:
Making Plans

What's the weather like:
Workin’ on a Big Chill

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called:
What the Cowgirls Do

What is life to you:
No Future in the Past

Your last relationship was:
Take your memory with you

Your fear:
These Broken Hearths

What is the best advice you have to give:
Which Bridge to Cross (Which Bridge to Burn)

How I would like to die:
Go Rest High on that Mountain

My soul's present condition:
All Prayed Up

My Motto:
You Better Think Twice
undertakerchick: (Default)
Lots of pillows or just one?
I have 2 and a giant frog

What kind of books do you read?
Eh, Christian books when I read. Not much into reading.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen today?
the moron who was behind me today at a stop sign and was blowing their horn at me because I stopped.

ZOMBIES OR ROBOTS: Which apocalypse is scarier?
eh....it's a toss up. Probably have to go with Zombies

What's really creepy?

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Don't really have one...guess I'm addicted to facebook

Why are you on your computer indoors on such a lovely day?
It's cloudy and windy out. I might get blown away

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
Facebook, LJ, wordpress

What was the last thing you bought?

How do you think you'll die?
not sure, hopefully quickly and peacefully

Do you get cravings? If so, what do you crave?
sometimes; mainly chocolate.

What do you do to change your mood?
depends on which mood I'm changing too

What is your zodiac sign?

Do you want to learn another language?
Not particularly...it's America they can learn my language

Five things you can't live without?
uh, Air, God, computer, cell, food

Find the closest book currently sitting near you and flip to page 54. What is the first sentence of the second paragraph?
Desolate women are ruled by the aching abyss within them. (from "Captivating")

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
Where ya been? I missed you.

What are you looking forward to?
getting a job and my trip to Murfreesboro
undertakerchick: (Default)
Mom and I are going to Flatwoods this afternoon. She has a meeting down there tomorrow so I'm tagging along. Actually I'm driving. Mom doesn't particularly like to drive so when I'm available she takes me along. It's been awhile since we've been to Flatwoods so we're going to do some shopping at the Outlet mall and meet one of her coworkers for dinner. It should be fun.

Sunday afternoon Mom and I went to the movies. We saw Alice in Wonderland. It was quite...interesting...unusual. I think that is how I would describe it. It was a good movie but very strange. Someone was seriously on drugs when they came up with that book. I had forgotten just how twisted Alice in Wonderland really was. lol I did like the movie. Johnny Depp made a great Mad Hatter and I loved the Chesire cat. He was cool!

Yesterday I rode the four wheeler. We were finally able to get it out and get it started. I am going to go out here this morning and ride again. I love riding the four wheeler. I also just sat outside and enjoyed the sunshine. I worked on my Bible study and am going to try to watch the DVD tomorrow while I have nothing to do at the hotel. Which reminds me, I need to find my headphones.

Well, I'm off to finish packing and to clean my car out. I will update again later I'm sure.
undertakerchick: (Default)
Sorry for my lack of updating. I haven't really felt like updating much in the last 8 wks. However, please know that I am alive and I'm surviving life here in TN.

Nothing much has been happening. My asthma has nearly killed me this spring but other than that, life is okay. I'm still working at OTP and still miserable. I do work in the garden center right now though so that helps ease the pain of working there. lol I like being outside away from most of the customers and away from the service desk. I'm pretty much on my own and pretty much do nothing out there. I just run register and occassionally straighten and sweep. That's about it.

I am sad to announce that our beloved Jake Man went on to be in that kitty playhouse in the sky. He left this world April 26, 2009. Dad let Jake out that morning and we haven't seen him since. We know he went off to die because Jake never ran off. NEVER. Mom, Dad, Tina, and even the neighbors searched and searched for Jake but never found him.

Jake Man was part of the family for 13 years. We got him in March of 1996. He was the best cat a girl could ever ask for and will be greatly missed. He was part of our family and my best friend. He always made me feel better and would always cheer everyone else up. He was big and beautiful. His purr was the loudest I had ever heard and he snored. lol I feel so lost without my baby. I loved him so much. Rest in Peace dear Jake Man....Rest in Peace...
undertakerchick: (Default)
1. Post the names of 10 of your favorite musicians.
2. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
3. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the song.

1. Michael W. Smith
2. Backstreet Boys --IF you want it to be good girl
3. Trace Atkins --Youre gonna miss this
4. Casting Crowns
5. Kenny Chesney
6. Brian Littrell
7. Vince Gill --Go Rest High on that Mountain
8. Eddie James
9. Ray Stevens
undertakerchick: (Default)
Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire bulletin and paste into a new bulletin you can post. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. ......Tis the Season to be NICE!

Wrapping paper or gift bags?
wrapping paper cuz i like to wrap things in a billion diff boxes...hehe

Real tree or Artificial?
I like the real deal but my lil artificial one shall suffice

When do you put up the tree?
Dec 22nd but this year I put it up early cuz i had to make sure it worked

When do you take the tree down?
Dec 26

Do you like eggnog?
LOVE eggnog

Favorite gift received as a child?
Operation! lol I loved that game

Hardest person to buy for?

Easiest person to buy for?
Corey...he's happy with anything lol

Do you have a nativity scene?
not in my apt. we have several at the 'rents house

Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail definitely...i like snail mail once in awhile

Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Um...I'm not sure...

Favorite Christmas Movie?
How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Rudolf, and Frosty...all the classics

When do you start shopping for Christmas?
around November

Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
probably lol

Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
cookies and fudge

Lights on the tree?
Yes, I have blue and white ones on my tree...we usually have a ton of lights on the tree at home

Favorite Christmas song?
I despise Christmas music. lol I guess my faves would be "Thistlehair the Christmas Bear" by Alabama and My Name is Christmas Carol. I also like "Oh Beautiful Star of Bethlehem"

Travel at Christmas or stay home?
This is my first year away from home on Christmas. I'm usually in WV

Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?
sure and a couple extras like Rudolf and Leroy the Redneck Reindeer lol

Angel on the tree top or a star?
we have an angel at home. I have an Acorn on my tree here

Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
One gift on Christmas Eve, all the rest on Christmas Morning. <--ditto

Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
The over commercialization and greedy customers with stupid returns!

Favorite ornament theme or color?
I have a hunting/fishing theme this year. Bears, acorn, pine cones, fish, and my extra Grinch ornament of course! lol

Favorite for Christmas dinner?
whatever we have at Granny's. I luv the Butterscotch pies though

What do you want for Christmas this year?
To be home in WV with my family

Who is most likely to repost this?

I dunno.
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